It’s a new habit — well not really, I always knew that this was the right thing to do — but I often allowed my emotions to play in me. Love is not an emotion, it’s a decision. I knew that too.

What’s new is an insight I had recently about how to apply this specifically. I had been getting my feelings hurt about little things that, in the big picture, don’t really count. I had the amazing ability to stew about totally insignificant, even imagined, slights that, if written on a ledger along with the real gifts and blessings of my life (and a few major losses), were not even worth their own line.

Doing an about face and loving the people involved was the ticket to bliss. I mean, loving them in a state of meditation, sending love to people as they come to mind. Habits develop slowly, and I still have to remind myself fairly often. The meditative state can be achieved any time and anywhere. It is nice to have a quiet space and time to sit, but once the meditation habit is developed, the meditative state is always available. When I see someone in my mind’s eye, I can send them love. 

I’ve been doing that more and more. I sent love to the attendant at the laundromat while she was in front of me physically. She turned around and gave me the sweetest smile. She had been wearing a mask for two years, and this time she was without it. But I think I’d recognize a smile, even with the mouth covered.  

See somebody or think about somebody. Then see their spiritual essence. Then send love to the spiritual essence. The person will often respond in a loving way, if it’s an in-person contact. When it’s not an in-person contact, there will be a warmth when you do see them again.

I used to be quarrelsome. And I’d swear it was the other person being quarrelsome. I was aloof, but if you’d ask me, it was the other person being aloof. All my relationships have improved, but especially the one with the person I spend most of my time with, my husband. 

We don’t fight over little things any more. I have a new way of handling insults, or what I used to perceive as insults, like people telling me what I should do, or someone comparing me unfavorably to themselves. Those things used to make me angry. I would get defensive and shriek my resistance. Now I just find something to be thankful for before I speak (or shriek). He’s kind of good looking, even when he seems to scold me the way my father used to do.

What a horrible habit I used to have of resenting people! What was I thinking? I was forgetting about the millions of things I have to be thankful for, and obsessing on one small detail that didn’t seem to go my way.

The escrow officer made an arithmetic error that cost me $366, and benefited the lien holder by that amount. My anger about that eclipsed my thankfulness for the  windfall we had reaped in the deal as a whole, until I wrote out a ledger of what we had paid and what we had received. Now what do I do about the angry emails I’ve already sent?  God doesn’t want me humiliating myself. I’ll just quietly repent for my lack of gratitude, and send love to the parties involved.

Amma is my role model. I saw her once, in  2004. I drove to someplace, in the Los Angeles area, where she was appearing. The venu, it may have been a church, was packed with people. I had lost my home and was hurting. She hugged the people one at a time. When my turn came she held me in her arms and on her lap like a baby. She spoke tenderly to me, telling me I was loved. I could access that moment again and again, even after it was over, and did so many times. The home was restored, temporarily, a few years later. Then in 2015 it was taken away again, right before my mother died of Alzheimer’s. 

But the experience of being in Amma’s arms stayed with me, growing within, until I too have become a love ministry. 

There are those who have not yet had a spiritual awakening. They will not be as receptive to an energetic blessing as those who are spiritually awakened. We bless them with the intention that their spirits open to the Divine will. This may be problematic for them and they may resent it. But this is what I would want were I spiritually dormant. I would want to be awakened. Even if I didn’t understand why my world was being turned upside down at first, I would want spiritual awakening. So this is absolute obedience to the golden rule of Christ, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”