I love her, miss her, want her love, want her forgiveness, want her to be happy. I sorrow for the things that went wrong. I rejoice in the things that were good. I wish I had good gifts. I give her my love, my prayers, my spiritual energy. Ditto, ditto, ditto. I love them all.

I felt the feeling of melting in love, a rare feeling, it’s gone now. I’m a sack of shit. I deserve hatred. I know that’s not true, but that feeling is coming at me. This is a messy life. Fixing broken relationships is a messy business.